The person I hate the most...is someone I've never met! I wont be taking his name here because I dont like to. I'll just emphasize on why I hate him so much!
I'll start with his introduction, and I'll try to be as neutral as possible. He plays tennis a mile behind the baseline, chases and returns every ball that's humanly possible and waits for the error from the opponent. While this may sound like an obvious defensive strategy, its the game of muscle that he uses to his advantage which annoys me. Tennis is an art (and Hingis is the best example). You carve out points for yourself, you dont muscle out the opponent for that.
He is superstitious. He wants his two fluid bottles kept at a particular distance x from each other and at a particular distance y from the edge of the table. Their faces need to make a particular angle z with edge of the table. He needs to drink exactly a ml fluid A and exactly b ml of fluid B. The shoe laces need to tied in such a way that exactly d millimeters of length protrudes out of the knot. The banana needs to be peeled by that exact proportion p in the first go and the rest (1-p) in the second go. He needs to spend exactly s seconds (s > 30) at that chair resting after the umpire has called out "time". If any of these elements are missing, he thinks he will not win the next game.
Continuing.... I like to call him undi-fucker (convert it in hindi). He needs to get his ass cleaned and his undi out of his ass-hole before serving/returning. Then, with the very same hands, he wipes his face and straightens his hair.
While at the sevice line, his routine goes something like this:get a towel-get 4 balls-select two of them-get a towel-put one ball back-get the ass cleaned-wipe the face-bounce the ball 20 times-get the hairs strightened-bounce it again 20 times...phew. Add a few more of those rituals, if he is on clay. finally he comes up with his dreaded serve: speed half that of roddick's and accuracy none compared to federer's.
Although some of these may be exagerrations, but its more true than not. All of his tactics have only one goal:control time. He wants the game to be played at his own pace so that he gains that extra advantage. And believe me, having played TT and bridge at decent levels, these kind of tactics work wonders, if not against everyone but certainly against federer. Watch wimbledon final '08 closely, and u'll see federer shouting to the umpire trying to draw attention to Nadal's time-killing tactics. Federer is not the type who lets his emotions out on the court, but that scream clearly implied that those tactics are very irksome to him.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A game of Baseliners and Screechers
These thoughts come to my mind in the wake of watching the French Open '09. The results went to my liking very much: Federer won, Paes won, Roddick went a lot further than expected and most importantly, Nadal lost (yippieee)
I've been following Tennis from the days of Sampras-Agassi rivalry, although not so intensely as now. And I have some very sweet memories of that time. The matches then were a classic contest between two contrasting styles of play: the serve and volleyers versus the aggresive baseliners. The sampras' versus the agassis, the kafelnikovs versus the ivanisevics, etc were great to watch.
But as Tennis is evolving, the art of volley seems to be vanishing. Balls are getting bigger, the courts, slower, the volley, rarer. The only serve and volleyer I can recall at this moment is Ivo Karlovic, ranked at a pathetic 29!
And a new style has sprung up - the defensive baseline play, that irritating, make-your-opponent-do-the-mistake thing. Keep running a mile behind the baseline and return everything with the muscle you've got. Sounds like Nadal, huh??
Its not that I hate baseline play, but tennis was a lot better when there was some contest between the two styles.
Even worse is the development of screaming with every shot. Not so much a problem in men's tennis though, but still worth a mention. The argument these screechers give is that it is well known that shouting out enhances your power (a la martial arts). But it is the short burst of voice at that precise moment which helps. But watch Nadal and Sharapova play, and note that 90% of their voice comes after they have completed the shot.
Apart from disturbing the opponent, it is heard that Sharapova's shrills are intented to seduce (!!!) the male spectators. Sad enough is the fact that spectators are needed to maintain pin-drop silence.
The he-screacher is ranked 1 for a while now, and the she-screachers are ranked 2,3 and 4 currently.
I've been following Tennis from the days of Sampras-Agassi rivalry, although not so intensely as now. And I have some very sweet memories of that time. The matches then were a classic contest between two contrasting styles of play: the serve and volleyers versus the aggresive baseliners. The sampras' versus the agassis, the kafelnikovs versus the ivanisevics, etc were great to watch.
But as Tennis is evolving, the art of volley seems to be vanishing. Balls are getting bigger, the courts, slower, the volley, rarer. The only serve and volleyer I can recall at this moment is Ivo Karlovic, ranked at a pathetic 29!
And a new style has sprung up - the defensive baseline play, that irritating, make-your-opponent-do-the-mistake thing. Keep running a mile behind the baseline and return everything with the muscle you've got. Sounds like Nadal, huh??
Its not that I hate baseline play, but tennis was a lot better when there was some contest between the two styles.
Even worse is the development of screaming with every shot. Not so much a problem in men's tennis though, but still worth a mention. The argument these screechers give is that it is well known that shouting out enhances your power (a la martial arts). But it is the short burst of voice at that precise moment which helps. But watch Nadal and Sharapova play, and note that 90% of their voice comes after they have completed the shot.
Apart from disturbing the opponent, it is heard that Sharapova's shrills are intented to seduce (!!!) the male spectators. Sad enough is the fact that spectators are needed to maintain pin-drop silence.
The he-screacher is ranked 1 for a while now, and the she-screachers are ranked 2,3 and 4 currently.
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